For your own safety – The creepiest Pokemon you want to stay away from in Pokemon Go!

I remember my parents buying me a Game Boy when I was young, the joy my little heart felt at all the possibilities I held in my hands. I would sit on my bed, covers pulled over my head, and play for hours and hours. And the game I played the most? Pokemon.

Truth be told, Johto holds my favourite Pokemon (looking at you, Mareep!) but Kanto is where it was born. It was where so many of us sat wide-eyed as Professor Oak educated us of the creatures inhabiting the world, handed us our first Pokemon and laid out a sprawling adventure in front of us.

Following that, we set off with stupidly large grins on our faces and our Pokedex in hand.

Now, here we are. We’re all twenty or thirty somethings with real adult jobs, paying real adult bills and rekindling nostalgia from years gone by. Simpler times, when all you had to worry about was receiving abuse from Professor Oak’s grandson Gary, or rushing to the nearest Poke Centre with a selection of under powered, half dead Pokemon.

Ah, childhood. If only we could relive you.

Wait, what? We can?

You’re telling me that I can find a Pikachu in my garden? A Squirtle whilst visiting the beach? A MEW!? IN REAL LIFE!?

Sign. Me. Up.

Suddenly, the world is now full of people who actually go outside, who talk to strangers and who actually explore their neighbourhoods.

Neighbourhoods full of Poke trainers doing everything they can to try and catch them all, whilst taking every chance to sing the catchy theme tune with 30 other strangers in a communal park.

We’re all running into alleyways and waving our phones over bins because, guys.. a Magnemite could be in there.

We all want to be the very best, we all want to catch them all. Or do we?

Here is a list of the top 5 creepiest generation one Pokemon you don’t want in your party (it’s for your own safety, promise.)

1. Cubone

Pokemon Yellow’s Pokedex entry for Cubone tells us:

“Wears the skull of its deceased mother. It’s cries echo inside the skull and come out as a sad melody.”

So. That’s nice. I’m hoping Cubones can’t give birth until really, *really* late in life and the deceased part is down to old age; rather than their children taking a funny turn.

2. Hypno

Yellow’s Pokedex entry for Hypno tells us:

“Avoid eye contact if you come across one. It will try to put you to sleep using its pendulum.”

Okay, that’s not so bad. Maybe he just hates idle conversation? Things get weirder in Gold, however. Hypno’s Pokedex entry there reads:

“When it is very hungry, it puts humans to sleep, and feasts on their dreams.”

Oh! Right. It’s amazing Pokemon haven’t just risen up and usurped humanity. They have our dreams. Think what they could hold? What secrets they have? Well it can’t get much creepier than that can it?

3. Drowzee
Wrong. Like Hypno, Drowzee’s weirder tendencies don’t come in until later. Silver’s Pokedex entry for him tells us:

“It remembers every dream it eats. It rarely eats the dreams of adults because children’s are much tastier.”

That’s great. Give little 10 year old Ash access to these guys, Oak. I’m really starting to second guess your judgement here.

It gets even more shudder inducing when you think that, once dreams are gone, all we have left is nightmares. Cheers mate.
4. Haunter
Yellow’s Pokedex for Haunter goes as follows:

“By licking, it saps the victims life. It causes shaking that won’t stop until the victims demise.”

I played this when I was 7. It doesn’t stop there. Gold lets us know:

“In total darkness, where nothing is visible, Haunter lurks, silently stalking its next victim.”

Fantastic. Just wonderful.
5. Ditto
 Red and Blue’s Pokedex for Ditto says:

“Capable of coping an enemies genetic code to instantly transform itself into a duplicate of the enemy.”

All right, that’s not *so* bad. I used to have one cat, now I have two? That’s pretty cool. Um, no. Hand over to Ruby and Sapphire:

“Ditto rearranges its cell structure to transform itself into other shapes. However, if it tries to transform itself by relying on its memory, it manages to get details wrong.”

Now I have two cats but one doesn’t have a face. Yikes.

So, in conclusion, Pokemon are creepy. These little guys we hold in our pockets and close to our hearts hold some pretty dark secrets. Makes you wonder what’s going on with Mario behind the scenes, huh?
Still, our inner child is happy and we have Nintendo to thank.

Just… Keep the lights on when you play Pokemon Go, OK? ♥


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